


Blood on the Carpet

by Hezaia



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Gen, Humor, M/M, Post-Canon, Questionable Courting Rituals, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28817163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hezaia/pseuds/Hezaia
Summary: Tsuna keeps finding dead bodies on his doorstep. Years ago, he would've panicked and screamed, or at the very least yelped in surprise and dread upon realising that he had just literally stumbled upon a dead body outside his office.These days though‒ "Ugh, not this again."The culprit is obvious. The question is how to make them stop.
Relationships: Hibari Kyouya & Sawada Tsunayoshi, Hibari Kyouya/Sawada Tsunayoshi, Sawada Tsunayoshi & Vongola Tenth Generation Guardians
Comments: 5
Kudos: 202





	Blood on the Carpet

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on ffnet.

* * *

There was blood on the floor.

"Blood."

Stepping out of his office, something had caught his eye and he'd looked down, and there was blood on the floor and a quite sizeable puddle at that.

"On the floor."

On the carpet to be specific. On the antique and astronomically expensive Persian carpet.

Sawada Tsunayoshi resisted a resurfacing urge to tear at his hair. Instead, he settled for cradling his head while surveying the extent of the damage. He already had something of a migraine coming on and it only intensified as he observed how the blood certainly did not just start and end there outside of his office. It actually did neither, but there was an evident puddle of blood just outside the door and a trail that continued down the corridor, the patterns consistent with those of a body being dragged.

Known to his friends as Tsuna, as No-Good Tsuna to his classmates and mentor and as the Vongola Tenth to others (and Gokudera, his self-proclaimed right-hand man), Tsunayoshi didn't bother wondering about who was behind it; the relatively limited property damage made it perfectly obvious after all. Instead, he considered the ramifications of the ruined carpet. "Reborn's going to kill me!" he mumbled as he moved to follow the evident trail.

Rather predictably, following the trail led Tsuna right to the very source of it.

Hibari Kyōya, dragging the bloodied body (remains?) of a would-be assassin, greeted him before he had even rounded the corner. "Herbivore."

"Carnivore," Tsuna returned evenly, folding his arms across his chest while retaining a healthy amount of distance between them (‒ it was hardly enough though, should Hibari decide to bite him to death).

"Omnivore," Hibari eventually relented, as much as Hibari would ever relent, narrowing his eyes slightly. Even more so, he left it at that, which was kind of weird, because Tsuna would've expected to have at least one threat of violence directed his way, for slacking off if nothing else. Hell, given that he had evidently foregone noticing that Hibari had apparently beat a would-be assassin either halfway or entirely to death somewhere in the vicinity, he obviously had to have dozed off for more than five minutes; a testament to the exhaustion of his overworked self, no doubt.

* * *

About two weeks after the first incident and a few discussions with select acquaintances on the best way to remove bloodstains, Tsuna stumbled out of his office to in turn quite literally stumble upon the broken body of another would-be assassin.

Tsuna took one look at the corpse (‒ this time, it was a corpse ‒) and then stepped over it and back into his office, shutting the door behind him.

Years ago, he would've panicked and screamed, or at the very least yelped in surprise and dread upon realising that he had just literally stumbled upon a dead body outside his office. These days though‒

"Ugh, not this again," he muttered, composing a text asking Kusakabe Tetsuya to deal with what was no doubt Hibari's mess.

Thankfully, Gokudera and other members of the Vongola Family that would have thrown a fit were conveniently not around. Gokudera confronting Hibari would after have generated some serious property damage and by default even more paperwork for Tsuna to deal with.

* * *

Three days after this event, Tsuna had found another corpse on his doorstep; the doorstep to his bedroom this time around. "Is this some new type of harassment?" he had asked himself, feeling largely unable to discuss this issue with anyone else.

Learning of it and learning that it apparently hadn't been a singular event, Gokudera had rather predictably freaked. He wasn't the only one, but the reaction of most people had paled in comparison to his reaction.

Rokudo Mukuro meanwhile had kept on chuckling as his eyes flickered between them, chuckling even harder when Hibari's attention had shifted to him, making him the recipient of the decidedly unfriendly glare of one close to violence.

Tsuna meanwhile had pretended not to notice, keeping it up until he got up one morning to a whole pile of bodies stacked right outside his bedroom. And, to make matters worse in some sense, there was Mukuro, looking entirely too amused by the situation.

"Mukuro," Tsuna sighed, making a vague gesture towards the bodies. "Make yourself useful."

Predictably, Mukuro's mirth only increased.

* * *

Despite his obvious clumsiness, Dino Chiavarone, head of the Vongola-allied _Chiavarone Famiglia_ , was a very lucky man. He had after all managed to survive a stint as Hibari's tutor; a feat few would have managed. And, as a result, Dino was probably the person who was the second most knowledgeable about Hibari's habits… which was why Tsuna had gone to him with his problem instead of discussing it with his Guardians or confronting Hibari directly. The latter had after all already been attempted with little success. Rather, things had escalated since.

"Really? _Kyōya_ did?" Dino Chiavarone sputtered when Tsuna had showed him what Hibari had seen it fit to inflict upon him the previous night.

"It started with him leaving bodies behind, but now it's this," Tsuna elaborated, trying to keep the slight hysteria from leaking into his voice as he pointed to the irritated marks on his throat and shoulder. "I asked him to stop it and he bit me!"

And his initial attempts at getting the Hell away had proven unsuccessful, with Hibari grabbing a fistful of hair and dragging his head to the side to gain better access to his neck.

"He _bit_ you?" Dino repeated in obvious disbelief and with definite concern. " _Kyōya_ bit you?"

If he'd known, then Gokudera would've thrown a fit even larger than the previous one. With bombs. And Hibari would no doubt have bitten him to death… with his tonfas. Not his teeth. Tsuna absentmindedly wondered what to make of that.

As expected, consulting the other Guardians had proven useless, with them being vaguely sympathetic but decidedly unhelpful.

Chrome Dokuro had stuttered, flushing to the extent that Tsuna had been forced to avert his eyes and abandon the pursuit altogether. Mukuro's reaction hadn't been much better; the obvious leer and chuckles indicated that he had at least some inkling about the cause of Hibari's strange behaviour, but knowing Mukuro, there was virtually no way of really getting that piece of information without giving up something in return and Tsuna wasn't _quite_ that desperate yet.

"I'm sorry, little bro," Dino smiled, genuinely sympathetic. "But I have no clue what Kyōya's thinking."

That made two of them.

* * *

"But it does make sense though, doesn't it, Vongola?"

Tsuna desperately wanted to ask the former future Varia operative what he was doing underneath Tsuna's bed, but as things were, he would rather not. "What makes sense?" he asked instead, pondering both how and if he ought to coax him out from under there.

"The trail of bodies," the boy deadpanned, practically invisible there in the dark. "It's pretty cute, really."

Despite having met and become the boss of a great number of weirdos, Tsuna was positive that he had never heard anyone describe a trail of bodies as 'pretty cute' before. Disturbing yes, but hardly‒ "It doesn't make sense to me though," Tsuna muttered, climbing back into bed. "I have no idea what to do, really."

The boy beneath the bed hummed thoughtfully. "Then, Vongola, how about‒?"

* * *

In hindsight, taking advice from someone who had once been Mukuro's apprentice probably hadn't been Tsuna's smartest idea as of late.

" _You did WHAT?!"_

Having anticipated Dino's reaction somewhat, Tsuna had made sure to keep a healthy amount of distance in-between the phone and himself. Had he not, then his ear would have been hurting a lot. Probably.

" _Tsuna,"_ Dino said at last, evidently concerned. _"Are all your limbs still intact? No broken bones?"_

"Just bruises," Tsuna assured him, surveying the damage in the bathroom mirror. "And bite marks."

" _BITE MARKS?!"_

Again having anticipated Dino's reaction, Tsuna did well to keep the phone well away from his ear until Dino quieted down again. "Yeah, teeth imprints on my shoulder." ‒ Mostly, but hardly exclusively, but he wasn't going to tell Dino that. ‒ "Oh, and my shirt's ruined."

There was silence from the other end. _"Honestly, Tsuna,"_ Dino finally sighed. _"For your sake, I do hope you know what you're doing."_

Tsuna had no idea quite frankly, but like with the location of a few of those bruises, Dino didn't really need to know that.

* * *

"So," Tsuna asked, trying to focus on his damned paperwork despite his unusual position. "What happened to not crowding?"

Hibari didn't dignify that with a response beyond snorting softly, leaning his chin on Tsuna's shoulder and tightening his arms around Tsuna's midriff. Tsuna had entered his office earlier only to find that Hibari had already occupied it, slouching in Tsuna's office chair like he owned it. Tsuna hadn't questioned it; the claim had gone unchallenged, with Tsuna only grudgingly moving to reclaim his workload and not his chair. Hibari had clearly disagreed, because shortly thereafter, Tsuna had found himself doing paperwork in his usual chair. It was pretty crowded however, hence the question, and quite distracting too, for obvious reasons.

Steeling himself, Tsuna signed off on another document, reaching for the next in the pile, pointedly ignoring the feel of strands of hair tickling his neck.

* * *

It was cute really, Fran had said, referring to the trail of bodies. In hindsight, Tsuna found himself drawing parallels to cats bringing in prey, both live and not so alive. It was an outlandish but also not so outlandish theory, considering Hibari's carnivorous tendencies. That having been said though, what was Tsuna supposed to do with them exactly? Was he supposed to gracefully accept the morbid gifts as such or to make use of wounded prey in order to sharpen his own hunting skills?

Regardless of the actual truth, Hibari had bit him, and Tsuna, taking advice from Mukuro's onetime apprentice, had returned the favour, and Hibari had regarded him with an expression that might have been surprise. Either way, it had soon been followed by the focused look of intrigue that crossed Hibari's face whenever a suitable competitor made an appearance. It was an expression coupled with a sound that usually spelled the doom of whoever brought it forth. _'I'll bite you to death,"_ was usually reserved for those that violated Hibari's sense of order. The other meanwhile‒

Tsuna would rather not delve into it.

Tsuna would rather not delve into it.

Tsuna would rather _not_ delve into it.

On a positive note, at least he wasn't stumbling over bodies or blood trails anymore.

On a less positive note though‒

* * *

Opening the door, Tsuna looks down. He is rather _surprised_ , not disappointed, that there isn't a body waiting for him outside his office. Instead, there is a pair of shiny black shoes, and they don't come alone.

"Reborn," Tsuna greets him, his smile coming off as more of a twitch than the genuine article.

Reborn indicates the carpet and the bloodstains that are still faintly visible.

Tsuna, having dealt with entirely too much bullshit as of late, considers setting it on fire but ultimately opts against it; Reborn would kill him after all. On the other hand though‒ he dismisses the thought, a somewhat unrelated thought popping up to take its place. "Say, Reborn. How come the mafia can manage time travel but can't seem to get bloodstains out of carpets?"

‒And floors, and desks, and just about anything made out of wood and textiles thicker than the average coat.

Tsuna catches a glimpse of something truly spectacular; a momentary glimpse of a surprised Reborn. The man recovers quickly though, and smacks Tsuna's head into the nearby wall.

* * *

The blood on the carpet is gone; Tsuna can't even see the vague traces of it, and he stares at it long and hard, trying to discern whether or not it's actually an illusion. He's so into it that he scarcely picks up on the other's approach before they are standing right next to him, towering over him in some sense since he is actually down on the floor, getting a closer look.

"What are you up to, Omnivore?"

He is up to no good as usual; being No-Good Tsuna, it is to be expected. "Wondering who managed to remove the irremovable bloodstains."

There is a huff of breath from above. Moments thereafter, Tsuna is hauled from the floor by the back of his shirt. Inevitably, he looks to Hibari for an explanation. Surprisingly, he gets one, albeit not from Hibari but rather from Fon of all people, who rounds the corner with impeccable timing. Seeing the look on Hibari's face though, the former Arcobaleno opts not to get any closer than he already is.

"It's a Hibari family secret," Fon reveals, nodding slightly in Hibari's general direction before pulling a strategic retreat.

Tsuna watches him go, suddenly very much aware of how the Disciplinary Committee had almost always managed to look pristine despite all the violence involved.

"Ehm‒" Tsuna considers thanking him, but the stain had been Hibari's fault to begin with, so‒ well‒ "Hibari, I‒"

Teeth. Grazing the back of his neck. Panicking lies close at hand, but Tsuna restrains the impulse, stiffening. "I've still got a report I need to‒"

On second thought, the report can go to Hell. So can Reborn. And so can‒

" _WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE TENTH, DAMN HIBARI?!"_

Gokudera can stay. Gokudera can definitely stay. Or go to heaven; it really depends on the outcome.

For once, Tsuna does the opportunistic thing, slipping back into his office now that he is no longer at the very centre of attention. After all, they won't kill each other. Probably. And in such case, there's time travel, right?

* * *

There is probably blood on the floor again. And on the walls, on the ceiling and especially on the astronomically expensive Persian carpet. Tsuna doesn't bother checking though, escaping the office through his window instead.

In hindsight, running away from his problems isn't such a brilliant move. In terms of bad decisions though, it is but one of many. Going back to Namimori to steal the Hibari family's secret blood-removal recipe is probably one of them.

* * *


End file.
